In these “Letters of Renewal,” I write about what has been a source of spiritual life in motherhood to me or another mom I’ve interviewed. Specifically, you’ll find a principle, practice, and product of renewal. My hope is that these letters might inspire you to nurture the things that are life-giving and encouraging to you in your own journey. Happy reading!
Principle: Accept (don’t fix) your feelings
Let’s be real, these “Letter of Renewal” articles have basically become an exposé on my personal struggle of the moment… (thank you for being here for them!) And this season, I’ve had a hard time with constantly feeling overstimulated! It doesn’t take much explanation on why motherhood can be overstimulating - the noise levels of a toddler at play; an inconsolable crying baby; multiple kids needing you at once; the constant multitasking - it can all serve to create an extremely overwhelming environment.
I wish I had a principle here for you that could serve to relieve you from your own sense of overstimulation, but honestly, I don’t. Over the past few months, I’ve desperately tried to find a fix. Deep breaths, cutting back on the multi-tasking, spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen… but by every afternoon, I feel the same: shot nerves, tense shoulders, a slight headache, worn-out, and easily irritated. So recently, I’ve stopped trying to fix and started to accept. I’ve accepted the fact that this season is overstimulating, and I feel overstimulated.
Now, this might sound like giving up, but apparently there’s merit to this approach. I learned from my counselor that the first response to uncomfortable feelings should actually not be trying to fix but first, to accept, and to explore. The internal narrative could go something like this -
Look at that - I’m feeling overstimulated again. My breathing is short. My shoulders and chest have an uncomfortable tingling sensation. My thoughts seem to be ruminating on the worry that I’m not engaging well enough with my kids right now. It’s hard to feel this way.
As I’ve stopped trying to fix my overstimulation over the past couple weeks or so, ironically, I’ve noticed more relief. Trying to fix actually was working to create more pressure, only adding to the problem. But accepting, apparently, relaxes the mind and body, opening up the opportunity for deeper exploration into what’s going on and ultimately leading to more creative and effective responses. It’s only when we know what’s really going on within us that we can most authentically show up before the Lord and receive his help!
If you too are struggling with overstimulation as a mom, I’d encourage you to adopt this approach of accepting and exploring before trying to fix. Have grace on yourself - you’re handling so much, and you’re trying your best. Hang in there, mama!
Practice: A grounding exercise
Here’s a super simple practice I learned from the book Strong like Water that can help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It serves to slow down your mind and ground you in the present.
Sit in a comfortable position (if you can get outside, that’s always a bonus), and notice:
5 things you see
4 things you hear
3 things you feel
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
I’ve been doing this practice every evening after putting the kids down followed by a few minutes of deep breathing, and it’s really helped calm my body down from the day!
Product: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse audiobook
I’ve been playing the audiobook of this adorable story by Charlie Mackesy on our car rides or over a speaker in the living room, and it has helped create such a calm environment for us when we need one! There’s beautiful and peaceful background music, and I find myself enjoying the story as much as my 3 year old! You’ve got to try this one out.
Love this! The exercise was right on time and genuinely helped. Thank you!🩷🧡