Surrendering your kids to God
Letter of Renewal, Rachel Thacher
“I get to be a part of my kids’ lives, but I don’t get to control how they go…. It’s only when I surrender my kids to God that I can let go of my worry. It’s difficult to hand our kids over to anyone, but the Lord is capable and worthy of our trust. He’s the one that’s holding them anyways. “
In these weekly “Letters of Renewal,” I write about what has been a source of spiritual life in motherhood to me or another mom I’ve interviewed. Specifically, you’ll find a principle, practice, and product of renewal. My hope is that these letters might inspire you to nurture the things that are life-giving and encouraging to you in your own journey. Happy reading!
About:
My name is Rachel, and I am married to my husband, Noah. We live in Richardson, Texas. We have a daughter named Ellie, who is four, and our son, Oliver, who is one. Noah is a full-time real-estate agent and works part-time at our church Antioch Dallas with me, where we are the worship directors.
What does a typical day look like for you?
Our daughter Ellie had a traumatic birth that resulted in quadriplegic cerebral palsy, so her life looks very different than a typical four year old. Our son is a typical one-year-old, so we are navigating two different situations. I work part-time, so our days vary. If I’m at home, I wake up around 5:30/6:00 to give Ellie a breathing treatment that takes 30-45 minutes. Then, I give her a vest treatment that fills with air and vibrates to help wake things up in her lungs. Ellie also has chronic lung disease, so this is a preventative way of keeping her from getting pneumonia. Next, we give Ellie a feed with her G tube, and then Noah takes her to school.
When Oliver wakes up, I feed him, and we play for a little. Then Oliver goes down for a nap around 9:00, and this is my time to rest and spend time with God, fold laundry, or catch up on emails. Oliver wakes up around 10:30, and then we usually go run errands or play until 12:00. Then we both eat lunch and he goes back down at 1:00. I usually use this naptime to read… nonfiction, fiction, I really love it all. I normally nap too and get a little rest in.
Then we go get Ellie from school around 2:30, and after that, we give her another feed. I usually go to the gym or go on a run around 4:30 every day and Noah takes both kids during Ellie’s second breathing and vest treatment. Around 5:30, we start making dinner and we eat around the kitchen as a family around 6:00/6:30. We start putting the kids down at 7:00, and by 7:30, they’re both asleep. Every evening is different. I have Bible studies some nights - some nights we have people over - other times we go through a book together or watch TV.
We love our kids, but the demands of parenting can be draining. Is there a practice you’ve developed that’s been life-giving for your heart?
God has been teaching me that life isn’t meant to be lived for a vacation. Instead, we can continually live in God’s rest. Spending time with God each day and taking a Sabbath day once a week has filled me up and helped me to live well and be present. Friday evening through Saturday morning, we take our Sabbath as a family. We all go to breakfast, and it’s chaotic and crazy but really sweet. We love getting that time as a family, and it truly is a refuel.
Is there a specific product you’d recommend that’s helped fill your cup as a mom?
That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs. She interviews all different kinds of people… parents, theologians, artists…it’s been a very life-giving podcast for me.
What’s one thing God has been teaching you in this season regarding motherhood?
This season has been marked by surrender for me. Our church did a 21 day fast, and I fasted from social media and certain foods and gave an hour a day for prayer with our family. During the fast, the theme was surrendering the things we strive for. Something really broke in me during that fast, particularly with Ellie and her life.
Ellie has a lot of emergency room visits. She has a lot of unknowns. She’s nonverbal so we never really know what’s going on. No one around us has the same life as we do, so it can feel really confusing. My biggest fear with Ellie is that we wouldn’t catch something going on with her and that she would die. But during that fast, I realized I just need to surrender my children.
My children are gifts, and I get to be a part of their lives, but I don’t get to control how they go. All I can do is ask the Spirit for guidance, obey the Lord when he convicts and speaks, and walk in community.
As God frees me from my worry, I find that I’m enjoying time with my kids so much more. Worry if life-sucking. But when I surrender my kids to God, I can just let go of control and enjoy time with them. It’s difficult to hand our kids over to anyone, but the Lord is capable and worthy of our trust. He’s the one that’s holding them anyways.